An innocent and an ass..

"Daddy, what is ass..?"

I was shocked when my three year old son asked me that question innocently. 'who the hell taught him that word?', I thought inside.

"Ah.. ass is an animal.. may be.. ah.. you can think it as kind of another variant of horse.. I will show you the picture sometime..", I thought I managed the question. But he continued.

"So.. mom has that animal? she never showed me..", childish words came out of his mouth..

"Mom..? no.. she doesn't have that animal.. why do you think mommy has one?"

"Because you told mom that 'i will kick your ass'. how can you kick mom's ass if she doesn't have one..?", he asked innocently.

"What..? oh.. uff.. you heard what i said?"

"Ya.. why do you want to kick that poor animal anyway..? isn't she pitiful?", he went on asking. I was speechless..

[Just to mention, it is written based on my imagination, not a real happening :-)]

Good or good looking..?

We were sitting on the park bench.. Her cell phone started giving some beep.. She.. My girl friend.. It was an SMS that one of her friends had sent.. She read it and then turned my side with a smile..

"What..? What is it about..?", I got curious..

She smiled again and showed it to me. The SMS read:

Tragedies of boys life:

1. Good girls are not good looking..
2. Good looking girls are not good..
3. Good looking, good girls are not single..
4. Good looking, good girls who are yet single have strong brothers..

After finished reading it, I chuckled and gave her mobile back..

She looked into my eyes with a smile and asked, "true, ah??".

I laughed little loud and said, "yeah.. i think so..!".

"So, I'm not good looking, is it?", she asked. Her face turned little serious.

"No.. no.. no.. noooo.. You are beautiful", when the words came out of my lips, i started sensing whats going on. But my statement doesn't seem to have made her happy.

"oh..!", she paused for a second and then continued, "so then, i'm not a good girl, ah?", she looked straight into my eyes.

'God!!', i whispered to myself..

"No dear! I didn't say like that.. You are a verrry good and a nice person.. You knew it", i said aloud..

"But just now you said, that SMS is true.. That is, good looking girls are not good and good girls are not good looking"

"No no.. there were other statements also right..", she didn't let me finish.

"What other statements..? Obviously I'm not a married girl, so that rules out the third statement.. and I don't have any brother.. So, i fit into any of the first two only right?"

"But honey..", again she cut me off in the middle..

"You say that I'm good looking and you also say that I'm a good girl.. One or the other is a lie and I want to know which one it is.."

'uffffff', I sighed. I was racing inside my mind.. 'what to say.. what to say.. quick.. quick.. aaaahhhhhhhh.. what to say.. what to..'

"Honey, listen.. listen..!! You fit into the third category.. 'not single' need not mean that you are married.. it can also mean that you are committed.. like.. you are committed to me.. you are beautiful.. you are very good.. but you are committed to me and that makes you 'not single'.. right?", I was desperate to see her reaction.. and, 'yessss..', a smile started glowing on her lips..

I continued, "see.. a gorgeous.. good girl.. committed to me.. how lucky i'm..!!", she blushed and smiled..

I didn't want her to think over my answer.. "Come on.. let me give you a hug..", I grabbed her and whispered at her ears, "ok.. tel me.. who sent you that SMS to you?" ['I wanna kick his a**', i said it to myself..]

She pushed me, "wait..", her eyebrows gone up.. She was thinking, "oh.. no.. not again!!", i said it to myself..

[Just to mention, it is written based on my imagination, not a real happening :-)]

Why is it so complicated..?

"Why is it so hard to talk to someone for the first time..?"

"Because we try to make it easy..!!"

[From the movie 'Ordinary People']

Very true.. Isn't it? Most of the times the struggle we face is due to the fact that we don't wanna go with our own flow.. We don't want to stick to the natural way of doing things.. Many a times, things get tough because we try to make it what it is not.

The complication begins when we wanna make it easier than how it actually is.. We know that going with natural flow is the best way to deal with anything, but even then we wanna try something different.. something new.. hoping that it could get us some better results in more easy ways.. but BANG!!!! mostly it results in we learning the same lesson, 'go with the flow' :D

Certain things are difficult to handle..

Days have been very dull.. Certain things in life are difficult to handle irrespective of how much ever maturity you have. Especially those things for which you never thought of any backup plans.. Because you were so sure that everything will be alright and you don't need any backup plans. But you never know what kind of surprises life has for you!!

Sometimes whether you like it or not, you are forced to live with what life offers.. It doesn't matter how bad you might feel about it. It looks like certain things wont change. They happen as they are designed to happen.. Sentiments or feelings won't be considered there..

You either live with what you get or just get out.. But unfortunately getting out couldn't be an option most of the times because it isn't just about you.. It is about lot more souls than just you!! So you strive hard to proceed further.. But damn it, this isn't what I want :-( and I don't want to move further without what I want because certain things in life are extremely difficult to handle irrespective of how much ever maturity you have (repeated statements ah?? yes, i know and I mean it!!)..

So, say it.. Express it..

One of the things I have noticed in most of the relationship is the enthusiasm that was showed at the beginning slowly gets lost when the time passes on. The expression of love, affection, bonding, appreciation during the start of the relationship doesn't seem to continue once the relationship is settled..

May be because people think that 'anyway (s)he knows that I love him/her, so what is there to express again and again'.. But the fact is, people might be bored of repeated talk about something else but they will never be bored to hear or feel repeatedly how much someone loves them.. People are dying for it..

Everyone always look for love and affection to be shown and expressed in lots of different ways.. No matter how old they are.. No matter how old the relationship is.. The need to feel love and care never disappears..

Don't think that things will be understood implicitly when the relationship gets matured.. There are certain things that people explicitly want to hear.. Don't wait for some chance to express your love, care, affection towards your loved ones..

So, say it.. Express it.. Everybody needs it.. All the time!!

Blowin' In The Wind (by Bob Dylan)..

Just thought I would write about the song that I liked very much recently..

The lyrics were so good.. You can find the lyrics below (may be you might also like it).. Just to mention, these are not mine :-D

Song: Blowin' In The Wind
Writer: Bob Dylan

How many roads most a man walk down
before you can call him a man?
How many seas must a white dove sail
before she sleeps in the sand?
Yes, and how many times must the cannon balls fly
before they're forever banned?
The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind..
The answer is blowin' in the wind.

How many years can a moutain exist
before it's washed to the sea?
How many years can some people exist
before they'are allowed to be free?
yes, and how many times can a man turn his head
pretending he just doesn't see?
The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind..
The answer is blowin' in the wind..

How many times must a man look up
before he can see the sky?
How many ears must one man have
before he can hear people cry?
Yes, and how many deaths will it take till he knows
that so many people have died?
The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind..
The answer is blowin' in the wind..

Uuuuffff!! [sigh]

I, like lots of my other friends, have been keep asking to myself, "why am I being so negative these days..?". Though the the heart knows the answer, my mind says "I don't know".. I'm so pissed off with lots of things happening around me.. More than that, people around me also pissing me off!! The frustration goes real high these days.

When I see a crowd, it threatening me a lot.. It is very difficult to smile and have a casual talk with people when you are totally upset inside and your mind is bothered about something.. Man.. life sucks!! I'm telling you.. Life really sucks!! How long would you hold yourself up and act like you are able to handle the toughest times!! How long can you pretend like you are still a single piece of human when you are completely broken inside..!! It so real hard..

Well.. Guys, don't come and ask me 'why.. what happened.. are you alright.. blah blah..' after reading this post. If you read this post, just keep it within yourself.. I'm neither expecting any comments nor willing to get involved in discussion about the same.. [ God!! how rude I'm!! ] That said, I really wish this post gets unnoticed..

Thought provoking.. [2]

"Someone, who cannot accept you at your WORST, has no rights to be with you at your BEST.."

Very thought provoking, isn't it? Thats what I thought when I read this line in one of the forward SMS that I got recently.

One of the things I have always experienced in my life is, when you are travelling through dark side of your life, there would be very few who stays with you. However during your good times, a crowd will always be around you.

Two things are likely to happen during your worst times:

• you isolate yourself from the outside world because you feel dejected, low in spirit, depressed and want to be alone until you pass through the painful times.
• you are isolated by others because you are not happy enough to be with.

The former is more pitiful. The latter is more painful. Especially if others give up on you when you are desperately in need of some support, it is difficult to take it. It hurts a lot. If someone doesn't want to be with you when you are going through difficult times and facing painful survival, they don't have any rights to be with you during your good times. If someone cannot accept you as the way you are, they don't have any rights to be with you when you exhibit behaviors that they like.

Rest I leave it to you to think of your own.. :-)

Good guy to bad guy!!

People feel very happy if you give them everything as "ya, take it". The moment you say, "no, its not yours, please keep it down", they are unhappy. Not just unhappy but they get angry and they want to take revenge that you didn't give them. It doesn't matter to them as to whom something belongs to. It doesn't matter to them as what kind of situation the other person is in. It doesn't matter to them whether or not what they ask for is needed by other person. It doesn't matter to them that they are asking for too much. What matter to them is whether or not they can have it.

They praise you as a nice person, if you are generous enough to say "yes" to all of their demands all the times. The moment they hear a "no" from you, you become the bad guy. All of the sudden you become selfish. My God!! What kind of people are they..??

All they think is, 'what are all yours, is ours and what are all mine is mine'. They want to own something that belongs to us. They want to get paid for our work. They want to take credit for what we do. They don't even feel like asking permission as whether or not to use something that belongs to us. They take our softness for granted. They think that they are smart [or probably they think we are fools]. What the heck!!

Well.. Lets say, "no". If it will be perceived as rude and selfish, so be it! It isn't worth to be soft and kind to those who tries to take advantage of us. Lets teach them some lesson!!

Thought provoking.. [1]

Today I received a forwarded SMS [Short Message Service]. Don't know who wrote it but I liked it very much since it provoked my thoughts..

Strange Facts:

• There is always a little truth behind every Just Kidding..
• There is always a little knowledge behind every I Don't Know..
• There is always a little emotion behind every I Don't Care..
• There is always a little love behind every I Hate You..
• There is always a little pain behind every It's OK..

How true these words are.. Aren't they? Especially I liked the last three points. These might seem to be weird but true. I have experienced them. I have seen them in people I meet everyday.

The purpose of this post is to say, 'hear the words being said but listen to the unsaid' :-) 'Obvious' are always heard/seen but the hided emotions behind the words are missed most of the times. If you really care, pay close attention to what is not said. If you say 'I don't care', I know that there is a little emotion behind it :-)

It happens all the time..

Somehow, when the day and time passes, you get used to the feelings of disappointments and loss. It no more pinches you on the center of your heart. Though it still has left some marks, somehow your mind starts feeling that it is manageable. It no more threatens your survival that you have always worried about. You realize the fact that life still goes on. It surprises you that you are still continuing to survive. Thats good, isn't it?

Time is a good medicine. But it is difficult to be patient for time to pass. Every day looks like bunch of years. Of course, it is painful and makes you feel like dying. But then you become normal. One day or the other.

We read, we write, we hear and we say that learn from your mistakes and start implementing your learnings. In real life, all it takes is a moment to fall in the trap [again] and you are forced to learn the same lesson again and again :D It happens. It happens all the time. There is no escape.

You fall in the trap.. you get hurt.. you feel the pain.. time goes on.. you recover.. ready to rock 'n' roll.. and yes, right!! You are now on the second ride. Your realization is too late. Don't worry.. You will be alright!! Just enjoy the ride :-)

Recharged..

Going home (native) is good. The restlessness, frustrations, anger, sadness, disappointments, loneliness, out_of_mood thoughts everything just disappear when I see my mom and sisters. I feel relaxed. I feel lively. I feel recharged with energy. I feel good..

I was at home for the last two days. Spent complete two days just at home. I got into the house on Saturday morning from railway station and stepped out of home to catch my train back to Bangalore on Sunday evening. Two days I was inside my house. No computers.. No internet.. No outsiders.. No symptoms of noise, pollutions, traffic.. Was just enjoying my stay at home.. :)

This is too bad.. :-(

Recently I read a news that a 30 year old lady committed suicide because of poverty and abandoned 3 of her female kids who are less than 9 years old. Now the kids have become orphan since their daddy also abandoned their family long time ago. How can a mother leave her children to suffer like this and take a decision of escaping from all the responsibilities?

Those kids were earlier suffering from hunger and now they will suffer for love and support too.. When people know that they are suffering from poverty, why are they giving birth to more than one child. Just because she knows how to escape from this cruel world, she has done it.. But what about the kids who don't even know what suicide means..

Even a dog does everything it can to continue its survival along with its puppies. Why aren't these people adamant to fight for their survival.. This is too bad.. :-(

Why are we so vulnerable..?

Why do we love them even though we know that they don't care much..?
Why are we so soft even though we know that they throw hammer at us..?
Why are we so tolerant even though we know that they deliberately make us frustrate..?
Why are we so kindhearted even though we know that they take advantage of us..?
Why are we so weak even though we know that it strengthens our enemies..?
Why are we so forgiving even though we know that it is taken for granted..?
Why are we so good-hearted even though we know that they break our heart..?
Why are we so gentle even to those who are rude to us..?
Why are we so empathetic even though they don't give much importance to our feelings..?

Why are we so vulnerable..?

Why are we not learning from the lessons that others teach us all the time by taking advantage of our soft character? While others are busy living their life, even at the cost of someone else's life by taking advantage of their vulnerability, why do we always want to make sacrifice even though we know that it doesn't worth it..? Why..?

When are we going to give importance to our feelings.. our life.. ourself..?

Stop chasing..!!

If you think that there is at least someone in this world who feels happy that they have everything they wanted, you are wrong.. Possibly there could be someone who feels happy about having everything they want but it is just an ephemeral joy.. Sooner or later they would start feeling that they are missing something else and will start chasing it.

Most of human life is lived in chasing something just because they have a thought inside that they want it. Only a very short portion of live is really lived with what is at hand. They chase something.. They get it.. They don't have time to live what they have got.. And then again the chasing begins targeting something else.

People are so obsessed with the thoughts of "I should have a looooooooot" rather than "let me first live with what I have got".. The moment they get what they are looking for, immediately something else becomes more important than what they have got just now and the result is, chasing begins again!!

Stop chasing..!! Stop running behind something!! Take a breath!!! Chill out.. Look around.. There are lot to live..

You think you have judged...?

Life is pretty difficult to understand. It always says, "don't underestimate me", when you think that things are going fine and you are alright.. It becomes difficult because of the fact that you can't read others mind. It is like doing or saying something blindly without knowing what is going on the other side. You will have to understand whether it went right or wrong only after seeing the side effects. Life demands to make lots of assumptions and laughs at you for making wrong ones..

With some people, you never know what they think when you say something to them. They don't question your intentions or why you said like that.. They just become judge. They think that they have done ph.d. in law that they have the ability to judge people and their intentions. In fact, they don't judge.. They simply prejudge.. The result is ending up to just have the thoughts of "I know everything" and losing what they are supposed to have..

I'm surprised to see that some people make a stylish cinematic dialog of "you just lost me! DID YOU HEAR ME..you just lost me!!" and ready to leave without even questioning to understand whats going on. What the hell was that..? I don't understand how they get the thought of "I'm THE person in the world and you lost me..!!". What kind of attitude was that..? They don't realize one fact.. When they say "you lost me", it indirectly means that they also lose the other person. That is a pretty straight forward derivation. How could that be missed..?

Well.. Are you wondering what I am trying to say..? I'm also thinking about the same. I'm just pouring my thoughts onto paper (well.. I meant blog).. So, feel free to excuse me if it doesn't make any sense..

Walking away with a smile..!!

I'm afraid to express what I feel.. Sometimes life demands us to give a gentle smile and walk away instead of asking 'why are you doing this to me..?'!! Its all about what your mind feels like doing at those moments. It doesn't mean that you don't have the courage to ask.. You tend to walk away with a smile because you don't want others know that you are broken inside.

Sometimes you don't want to ask such question because you feel that there is no point in asking them. Asking 'why so..?' or expressing what you feel is to make others realize what they have done to you. It is to make those persons to understand how much you are affected because of that. You ask such question because you expect that they would realize that you are hurt and hug you back to give warm feeling. But you tend to think 'what is the point in expressing how much you have hurt', when you know that they are deliberately doing things without bothering too much about your feelings. How expressing going to help in those instances.

They won't feel guilty for what they have done. If they would, they wouldn't have done it. They knew that they are going to break you down. During those moments, you don't feel like asking, 'why are you doing this to me..?'. All you feel is to have a gentle smile on your face, stretch your eye lids to hide your tears, simply walk away.. You don't want to let them know that they had(have) been your weakness..!!

Trust - In my opinion..

I don't understand why people afraid to ask question thinking that the other person might feel bad because trust on them is questioned.. How can asking question mean 'distrust'ing someone.. Trust doesn't mean that you should not question on what someone (whom you trust) does/says/suggests even though you have no idea of why they do/say/suggest. Well, its just my opinion.. Trust never means blindness. If you don't understand, you can very well ask for clarification.

I feel that trust is about the intention of the person. If you trust someone, it just means that you believe their intention. You believe that they will try their best to do things that wont affect you. You believe that they don't harm you intentionally. Trust never means that you shouldn't be asking clarifications on what they do or what they say or what they suggest if you don't understand. It never means that you simply have to follow what they tell you. When you don't understand or don't have clue of what it is all about, there is nothing wrong in asking the question of, 'why is it so..?' or 'what does this mean..?' etc..

If you accept or follow what the other person says without completely understanding what it is all about, I personally term it as 'blindness'.. It ain't trust. Trust makes you feel comfortable to ask for clarifications when you don't understand. It gives you the comfortability to ask right question. If you are wondering, 'well.. I can very well question someone whom I don't trust as well, then whats the difference..?' The point is, when you trust someone, you believe that their intention is good. You believe that their reply for your question will convince you in the positive way. That is what trust is all about. It never means 'not to question'.. It just means that 'not to question the intention'..

Just because you trust somebody, doesn't mean that they might not have overlooked something. Though their intention is good, they might have very well overlooked something because they are also human beings. When you discuss and try to understand things, probably you can find out what they are missing, though they didn't miss it intentionally. If a person is trust worthy, he/she never feels bad to explain you about why they do it. They will definitely consider the points you are bringing. Because their intention is good. I don't think that, just because you trust somebody you can just follow their instruction to sail your boat without questioning which might unknowingly take you to a water falls..

"It's OK, Dear!" never means "you can do it again"!!

Sometimes an easy forgiveness allows people to do the same mistake again and again.. May be because it gives a feeling that "anyway I will be excused, so why to worry..!" I tend to think that if someone gets an excuse easily even before they really feel guilty about what they have done or said, it seems that there is no way that they are going to correct themselves. Probably because the situation is easily handled for them and they are not given a chance to sit_and_think about what they have done and why they shouldn't be repeating it again.

When there are people who take even an excuse (by excuse, I mean both forgiveness and exceptional 'its ok' for what they have done/said), which they get after a lots of effort, as take it for granted; it doesn't surprise to say that people might treat an easy excuse as a cakewalk most of the times. I believe people correct themselves only when they internally realize what they have done/said and really feel for it.

I think that sometimes tolerating or forgiving someone's _not_so_nice_action_ is resulting in them not to realize how it affects/hurts someone else's feelings. Soft spoken words of "its ok, dear" with a gentle smile never means that you are allowed to repeat it again. It never means that it is any less pain or suffering for someone. It just means that sometimes the other person doesn't want you to know how much wrong you are, just for the fact that you shouldn't feel guilty about what you have done/said. It is simply because they care for you. But that doesn't mean that you can do/say the same thing again and say "i'm so sorry.. i didn't mean it this time too..' with an innocent smile!!

Remember that you are innocent only the first time. Next time, you pretty much know what you are doing/saying.

Love people as the way they are..

It isn't easy to accept people as the way they are.. Its easy when said in quotes.. When given advise.. But in reality, it isn't easy to follow.. Human brains are designed to accept anything by comparison. Except if it is new and hot [by hot, i didn't mean sexy ;-) It is just a phrase I'm using to mean recent :D].. But then, human brains are also given capability to mature by reasoning and understanding explanations.. and hence this post :)

Often what bothers our mind is not the behavior, character, skill or personality of the other person.. It is the result of comparison. Our mind knowingly or unknowingly starts to compare anything that it reads, sees, feels, visualizes or experiences with similar thing in the past. Thats what creates problem in the present moments and eventually ruins the future.

Accepting the fact that people are different, each have their own uniqueness, own way to express, own way to do things etc can somewhat help the mind to adjust with others. Love people as the way they are. If their 'as the way' isn't matching your frequency, don't hate them for that. Just move on.. World is so big.. If you move on, you can see there are a lot to experience and love.. Don't waste your time on bothering yourself too much about someone else's 'different' behavior.. Remember, when you feel that someone isn't in an acceptable frequency of yours, its the same feeling that the other person goes through in their mind. The way your eyes see them is the same way how their eyes see you..

"If you start judging people, you will have no time to love them", is a quote by Mother Theresa. One of my all time favorite quotes. So often we spend too much time within ourself thinking about stuff that we don't like (in other words, feel different) in others. Be it a character, behavior, personality, imperfection or what so ever.. Most of the times our eyes are focused on the small little black dot on the big white paper.. We forget the fact that there is so much white to concentrate on.. But we focus on the tiny dot.. If you feel that someone is not very perfect in something and if that bothers you, then you should understand the fact that the other person is bothered by you being perfect.. Because in their world, being not_so_perfect is the way to live.. It is just that some people prefers the color black than white..

There is nothing wrong or right. Everything is what we decide.. It all depends on how one feels about it. What is said to be a crime in one country has been approved by the government in another. It is the way it is. There could be 'I could accept..' or 'I couldn't accept..'! But what you 'don't accept' or 'can't accept' never means that it is wrong.

If you feel that there is so much differences that you are unable to get along with, then move on with your own choices. There is no point in hating or disliking someone just because they are different than your expectation. At the same time, in a different perspective, understand the fact that most of the times opposite poles only attract each other. Two things designed in an opposite way is what fits well together. Difference is what attracts. If you start viewing the differences as something new to explore and experience, then it becomes interesting. Develop the curiosity to accept and understand the differences.. Thats why God has created males and females.. Of course, there are gays and lesbians which clearly indicates that there are people who prefer similarities over differences.. Can't help it.. [OK Guys..!! I'm just using it as a contextual example.. Don't think otherwise ;-) ].. If you can't stand the differences, move on.. Thats OK!!

So the summary is, if you are not comfortable with one's character, personalities or whatsoever, learn to move on instead of disliking or hating them.. Don't discourage them for being so. Don't let them feel bad about it.. don't hurt their feelings. realize the fact that they might also have similar feelings as you.. But at the same time, as much as possible, accept people as they are.. Life is enjoyable only when you start seeing the beauties as the way they are [God!! Don't think wrong again.. It is just a poetic way to say that 'accept people as they are'].. Cheers!!