So, say it.. Express it..

One of the things I have noticed in most of the relationship is the enthusiasm that was showed at the beginning slowly gets lost when the time passes on. The expression of love, affection, bonding, appreciation during the start of the relationship doesn't seem to continue once the relationship is settled..

May be because people think that 'anyway (s)he knows that I love him/her, so what is there to express again and again'.. But the fact is, people might be bored of repeated talk about something else but they will never be bored to hear or feel repeatedly how much someone loves them.. People are dying for it..

Everyone always look for love and affection to be shown and expressed in lots of different ways.. No matter how old they are.. No matter how old the relationship is.. The need to feel love and care never disappears..

Don't think that things will be understood implicitly when the relationship gets matured.. There are certain things that people explicitly want to hear.. Don't wait for some chance to express your love, care, affection towards your loved ones..

So, say it.. Express it.. Everybody needs it.. All the time!!

"It's OK, Dear!" never means "you can do it again"!!

Sometimes an easy forgiveness allows people to do the same mistake again and again.. May be because it gives a feeling that "anyway I will be excused, so why to worry..!" I tend to think that if someone gets an excuse easily even before they really feel guilty about what they have done or said, it seems that there is no way that they are going to correct themselves. Probably because the situation is easily handled for them and they are not given a chance to sit_and_think about what they have done and why they shouldn't be repeating it again.

When there are people who take even an excuse (by excuse, I mean both forgiveness and exceptional 'its ok' for what they have done/said), which they get after a lots of effort, as take it for granted; it doesn't surprise to say that people might treat an easy excuse as a cakewalk most of the times. I believe people correct themselves only when they internally realize what they have done/said and really feel for it.

I think that sometimes tolerating or forgiving someone's _not_so_nice_action_ is resulting in them not to realize how it affects/hurts someone else's feelings. Soft spoken words of "its ok, dear" with a gentle smile never means that you are allowed to repeat it again. It never means that it is any less pain or suffering for someone. It just means that sometimes the other person doesn't want you to know how much wrong you are, just for the fact that you shouldn't feel guilty about what you have done/said. It is simply because they care for you. But that doesn't mean that you can do/say the same thing again and say "i'm so sorry.. i didn't mean it this time too..' with an innocent smile!!

Remember that you are innocent only the first time. Next time, you pretty much know what you are doing/saying.

Discuss your (miss)understandings..

How much ever you try avoiding, misunderstanding happens all the times.. Sometimes it is even worse that the person who misunderstands don't even want to discuss about it. They want to chew their thoughts based on their own assumptions, judgments and based on what they saw, heard, read, or understood. They don't even think in the aspects of "can't there be a tiny possibility of my understanding of what I saw or heard could be different than the other person's intention".

Most of the relationships break only because of misunderstandings. The problem comes when someone isn't open to talk/discuss about what is bothering them and not taking effort to discuss their understanding through open talks. When certain things, especially the ones that bother the inner mind, are not discussed openly, they eventually result in frustration and one day there is going to be a big blast and thats when everything will break..

In some other cases, even if they are ready to discuss it, they keep their mind rigid thinking that what they assume or judge is correct. If the mind is not flexible enough to consider the other person's point of view, there is no point in discussing about it. It is as good as not discussing and eventually it is not going to help.

We might very well be right and what we have understood might be correct, but keeping the mind open and flexible to consider other's thoughts and their side of assumptions and intentions can only help to bring the understandings back to the right track.

During the discussions, it is important to have the attitude of 'I want to workout this relationship..', rather than having the thoughts of 'I'm right and you are wrong'. Most of the times compromises, forgiving, flexibility to understand and consider other's situations are really important to keep the relationship going.

It depends on your inner mind..

Sometimes even though you try hard to forget some memories or thoughts, you just cannot. The reason is not because it is very difficult to forget. It is simply because your inner mind don't want to forget them even though you deliberately try hard.. It is just that some corner of your heart still wants and cherishes those memories and thoughts.. Bottom of the heart still feels good about those memories.. Because those memories are something that made you to feel how heaven would be..

Your inner mind don't want to lose those memories.. It still wants to look for even tiny possibilities to retain those relationships that are reason for those sweet memories.. The bottom of your heart still hopes that some magic will happen and everything will be back to its good old cherishable state.. It keeps on praying God for that magic to happen as soon as possible..

Because certain relationships are too expensive to lose.. Those relationships are something that you always wanted in your life.. You NEVER want to lose the person whom you have dreamed as your world.. because it will take life time to find such person again..

My heart is waiting for that magic to happen.. Will God make it happen? Fingers crossed..

It's different..

Sometime back I was out with my friend for lunch.. We ordered different food based on our taste.. While having the lunch, we both were tasting some sample of each other's food. He asked me, 'how is it..?', I said, 'ya. its good'.. In fact, it was really good and I liked the taste of the food that he ordered.

'So how is mine?', I asked him back. He thought for a second and replied with a smile, 'it is different'.. Though his reply directly meant that he didn't like that taste very much, his statements of "it is different" caught my attention. Most of the times, when someone asks me how something is, I have always had the habit of telling, 'yeah, its good..' (if I like it) or 'I personally didn't feel that it was good' (if I don't like it).. I mostly be careful and avoid the usage of the word 'bad' and I add the words 'I personally' to be more polite in my responses so that the other person wont feel bad about my response. I felt that his response was one of the best ways to express your opinion though you dont personally like something.

'Taste' or 'Like' etc never has defined dictionary meaning. It always carry customized meaning based on individual. Everyone is different. Each individual likes different things. Their taste vary. When that is the fact, how can someone ever say 'it isn't good or it is bad'.. Though I agree with the fact that, if someone says 'it isn't good' that directly means that it is their personal opinion. However thinking in the lines of 'it is different' brings more comfortability amoung people. It conveys the meaning in a better way that 'my taste is different' and yet you respect the other persons likes and tastes..

Isn't this lesson great.. I thought so and thats why this post :-)

Life lessons..

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Ended so soon :-)

I didn't think that this chapter will end so soon.. I'm so angry on the Author that He finished the chapter very soon when I hoping that there are lot more pages to go. I don't know why He decided to kill those characters whom I was eagerly looking forward in the upcoming chapters.

I know that the Author is well known for writing each and every chapter interesting irrespective of the characters appearing in that chapter. That makes me not to give up and tells me to go on further to read the upcoming chapters to see what is new and how the plot progresses.

But at this point, I'm filled with bit of disappointment and little emptiness, I think :-)

Where is it going?

Is it what I really want..? I dunno. Feel like living in a world of illusions.. Will this get me what I want? Or is it just going to be 'yet another monsoon breeze'? Though I feel happy about it, the cells of experience is putting me on alert. At times, it even worries [ is 'worry' a right word to use here, dunno know] me..

What am I suppose to do? Go on..? by hoping that something good will happen..

Sometimes [ is it just sometimes or 'most of the times'? ] I feel that this is what I want in my life.. This is what would keep me happy.. But at the same time, I dunno why, I am little confused as what I should do.

I just couldn't understand the magic of life.. When I want to move away, it just follows me.. When I turn back, it just hides.. It gives me a feel of playing 'hide and seek' game in a sweet little winter night..

Here is yet another interesting part of my life.. A chapter with lots of excitements and twists that will make the readers to keep on turning the pages. Will these characters appear in the upcoming chapters..? God only knows :-)

Letter to one of my nice friends..

Dear ******,

Well.. I dont know how to start but.. I just wanted to let you know that you have been a nice friend to me these days. I know that we might not be in touch as frequently as we were sometimes back.. My inner sense somehow says that we might not even get a chance to talk in future.. I dont know whether that is because of the situations that you are in or because of some intentions that you are upto or both. Because you have been showing some behavioral changes these days. The charming that you showed towards our friendship sometimes back is missing now a days.

I say this because somehow I started feeling that you were not like before, especially after our long conversation the other night. My senses somehow says that a gap started there and now it had gone to a greater extend, which makes me feel that it can never be bridged :-) It is not the ego that is stopping me from trying to resume the same level of friendship, it is just that I want to respect the decisions that you are taking. If I don't support what you are upto, then what is the point in being a friend. You are like a butterfly whose presense can make people smile and happy. I cannot be selfish to think just about my happiness and try to hold you back. So whatever the decisions that you are taking, I'm fine with that.

In whatever the case, I just wanted to let you know that I was very happy to be your friend even though it was a short period of time. I don't know whether someone ever told you how nice you are who can keep people around happy. Thanks for being so nice to me. I cherished your friendship. I felt happy whenever I was talking to you.

Not everyone becomes a reason for someone's smile. Only very few people makes others smile and happy. You are one such person. You had been a reason for my smile on few of these days. I am glad that I am given a chance in life to talk to one such person. Your nice and charming character has always made me happy. Good things about a person has to be told especially when they are there, not when they are gone. That is the reason why I am writing this.

I wish you all the best for everything. Have a nice and happy life.. Cheers :-)

Some diversions...

Nowadays I'm into some sort of diversion.. Not able to concentrate properly on anything.. Well, that doesn't mean that I'm in love :-) So don't starts thinking in that line. Something is keeping my mind busy.. bothering me a lot. I cannot really say what exactly is bothering me (my inner sense tells me 'dont say lie..' while typing this statement [grin]) .. But I'm worried about something that is constantly spinning in the back of my mind.

I know that i'm simply passing my times so often without doing anything useful. I'm finding very difficult to bring back my concentration. Might be, writing this post could become 'the break' i'm wanting to bring me back to normal :-) That is one of the reason why I'm writing this :-)

Whenever something is bothering you, you say it aloud. Share it with someone. Discuss about it with a nice friend. Tell it to the nature. Just express it by any means. You will start feeling light hearted. You can see that you are slowly coming out of that stress that have been bothering you. You can feel that you are no longer into that emotional battle. You can see that your mind gets cleared with fresh thoughts. You might even start thinking that whatever was bothering you is silly.. You might even laugh at yourself that 'I just cannot believe that such a silly thing was bothering me'..

Whenever something is bothering, expressing it explicitly can really help to get over it. Instead of keeping it inside your mind and constantly worrying about it, just share it with someone or express it by some means. You can see that you are out of it. You are back to normal :-) Am I??? Well, I have to wait and see ;-)

Emotionally upset..

Though I try to be a practical person most of the times, certain situations really makes me emotionally upset. Especially those situations that puts my loved ones in pain. When my dear ones suffer, it makes me feel emotionally upset even though I still take practical decisions to handle the situation.

More than the problems, what worries me a lot is the emotional sufferings that my dear ones go through. The stress that I undergo because of such situation is terrible.. It is always easy to deal with any situation if that just involves you. Especially when you are matured enough to take things easily. But if the same happens to your dear ones, God!! its terrible. Because you are always ready to take the pain, but when you see your loved ones suffer, you just cannot take it. Especially when they are not matured enough to take things easily. It just puts you under lots of pressure and stress to ease the pain. But when the problem is not under your control, what else can you do other than hoping for something good to happen. All you can pray to God is to give them the strength to handle the pain..

And, that is the kind of situation I'm in now. Today I'm emotionally very upset.. :-(

When a friend becomes stranger…

It was a Sunday night and I was hurrying to the bus stand to catch my bus. When I reached, the bus stand was heavily crowded. Bus stand is the place where you can see all kinds of feelings… It will always be packed with lots of actions – hurrying, shouting, running, tension…

After a little struggle, I found my bus… When I was about to get into the bus, I felt a little vibration inside my heart which was passed from the eyes. I couldn’t identify what kind of feeling that was. But the cause for the feeling was, I saw my good old friend with her mother. We were best friends during college days and because of some reasons we no longer talk with each other. It has been more than 4 years since I talked with her and more than 3 years since I saw her. I don’t know whether she noticed me, but I didn’t want to go and talk to her. It was a surprise that she was also traveling along with me to Bangalore that night on the same bus.

It wasn’t more than 8 months we had friendship during our college days but I can certainly say that her friendship was one of the best things I had in my life during those days. Our friendship broke because of misunderstandings and few other reasons. Nevertheless, I always have good wishes for her.

The bus started towards Bangalore and she was sitting few seats in front of me. I don’t know what kind of feelings I was undergoing at those moments. It was a strange feeling to see one of your best friends as stranger. It was a mixture of little ego about what had happened earlier yet having the same feelings of friendship, care and love. Even if your best friend becomes stranger, you still will have best wishes for him/her inside your heart. I wanted to turn my concentration somewhere else; I started looking outside the window. Lights of the opposite vehicles were passing my eyes quickly, so as the days we had friendship.

After a while, I saw that she was struggling to close her window. I noticed that no one was ready to help her. I wanted to go and help her because I didn’t want her to struggle. For few moments, I almost wanted to resume the friendship, but then I felt that she is on her own way now and I am on my own way and we are just doing well in that. We have to let go certain things in our life just for the goodness of few persons whom we love and care the most. Inside I felt very happy for her, because I know that now she must be keeping her mother and little sister happy after she started going to job.

I didn’t know how I slept, but when I woke up, the bus was nearing madiwala, where I had to get down. Surprisingly she also got down at the same place. I still don’t know whether she noticed me or not. She started walking in the direction where she has to go and certainly that was not the direction I have to go; I started walking towards my house.

Small thing that teaches great lesson...

Few days back, we were celebrating one of my cousin's birthday... It was totally an unplanned celebration. Nevertheless, we all were in full spirit of joy to have fun. I had my Sony handy cam, so we were shooting whatever was happening, making fun of each other... We also didn't forget to shoot each one's opinion on how they feel about the birthday boy.

We enjoyed a lot, got tired and slept. After we woke up in the morning, we all gathered and wanted to play whatever we filmed during the birthday celebration. It is always a fun to watch ourselves on the television especially if it involves some crazy things that we did in the past. More than just fun, each one started feeling that, their voice is totally different when they heard themselves from whatever we shot last night. For me, my voice was not the voice i usually imagine how it would be heard by others. But others told that, my voice was exactly the same as they usually hear.

Everyone felt that their voice is only differing when hearing on the video though other's voice on the video is the same as they usually hear when they talk. It was quite surprising and to be frank, it was not easy to accept the fact. Because whenever i speak i usually think this is how my voice would be heard by others, but the fact is not the same.

More than a fun, it actually induced me a deep thought in a different perspective. Whenever we talk or do something, we always think this is how it would reach others, but the fact might be different. The way people see it or hear it or receive it might be totally different than what we think. No wonder, why so many conflicts or so many misunderstandings that we see in our day to day life even in the situations where we feel that we were right. It is important to understand how others feel about whatever we do or say rather than just concluding by ourselves that it is how it would be received and later getting into a situation where the fact is different...

Don’t lose great friendship just for silly mistakes/ego...

It had been more than six months since I talked to him (who is ‘him’??? He is one of my close friends)… Earlier he and I were very close and best friends. Happiness, sadness, frustrations, disappointments, joys, etc… we share everything with each other. Our friendship has very strong and deep roots. What made our friendship so close is that we always be as we are. He or I never pretend to be someone else than truly who we are. We both respect each others feelings and preferences…

Suddenly something happened which resulted in big misunderstanding. Instead of talking about it frankly, each other started doing some mistakes which resulted “not talking to each other” state. We had openly talked a lot of things, but I don’t know how we missed not to talk about this matter frankly. Though we didn’t quarrel with each other, we simply stopped talking to each other.

Days passed… I was thinking that ‘it’s his mistake, so let him take the initiative to talk… why should I take the initiative?’… I am sure he might also have thought the same way. Months passed… We started getting busy with our own world… But I strongly felt his absence in the moments of happiness/sadness etc… I missed a good friend with whom I share lots of feelings.

Six months have passed just like that. One day I had a chance of going through my old diary. I got a very old letter which he wrote to me five and half years back. The words of the letter reflected how much deep and nice friendship we had… After reading it once again, I started feeling that how I could miss a best friend like him in my life… I thought that ‘man… we live our life only once… what are we going to achieve by giving importance to our ego and not talking to each other… It is just one life and I definitely cannot lose a good friend like him… I know that I am missing him and I know that he would also feel the same way since our friendship is like that… then someone has to step up to bring the situation back to normal… I definitely cannot waste any more time by looking at the silly mistakes we both did…’ I decided to call him and wanted to renew our great friendship…

To put away your ego to talk to the other person always demands for a great courage... When you do that you can feel the stress inside. You will always have a feel of what if he/she refused to talk. But always remember that good friends listen to each others… Sometimes it may take a while to bring the situation to normal but being idle will do no good. Some actions have to be taken to make each other understand… I put away my ego of “why should I call first…” because I know that ego never do good things in your life.

When I called him and said “hey, its paul…”, I could hear his cheerful voice of “hi paul… how are you da…”

I said, “I get a chance to go through one of our old letters and we share great friendship…I don’t want to miss you in my life just by seeing ego and silly mistakes…”

He replied saying, “I too was thinking that I missed a good friend…” and we started talking to each other like before 

Handle your relationship in a better way...

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