Realizing when not to show up..!

Sometimes it does become important just to keep up a smile on the lips and not to show up what is going on in your mind.. Smile is a very powerful weapon. That would make people wonder what you are up to.. Especially in the situations where you are little confused as what you want to do.. Especially when you are talking with someone who is trying to pull your leg (not for fun but seriously).. Especially when your mind starts to think about some drastic decision [ it could be drastic to you or to the other person ;) ]..

I somehow learnt that it is not always good to show up what is going on in your mind. Not to let your frustration, anger, disappointment, shock show up when you are talking with someone who, if they know, can make moves based on that and put you into even more deeper trouble. Sometimes it is good to do things silently. That is one of the best ways to shock the opponent. By opponent, I don't mean a warrior with weapon or pistol. I meant those people who try to take advantage of you, or try to misuse you for their own reason, or try to corner you to gain power, or try to put you into trouble and enjoy when you struggle or those who directly attacks you emotionally or through some other means (if they attack physically that is completely a different topic to discuss since that would become a crime and you can very well file a case :D)..

When people are trying to play games with you (I'm not talking about the indoor or outdoor games) to put you into trouble or try to gain advantage of you, its better not to show up your emotions until you understand the rules of the game and come up with your own strong strategic moves. You might not even want to let them know whether or not you have noticed that they are trying to corner you. Better to watch it carefully and make your moves silently and yet strong.

One day they should understand that your silence never means acceptance or fear. They should be shocked that they made their moves miscalculating what you are capable of. Work silently. Give them a BIGGGG shock one day. And thats the way how you can have your own fun.. 

Why do people take advantage of me..?

These days have been terrible. And they are continuing to be terrible :-( because I was not able to say 'no..' to certain people though what they are asking for is a lot more than what I could possibly give. I'm a completely different personality at business, who knows how to say 'no' whenever it has to be said. But in personal life, I'm opposite. I always find difficulty to say 'no' to those who are around me (that 'around' doesn't include dear ones; because I never want to say 'no' to them at any cost).

Few people are taking my emotional weakness for granted and they are ready to play their game as the way they want to. Just because I'm emotionally weak and kind, lots of people are misusing it. Even during extreme situations, they simply don't understand (or not even ready to understand) my side of explanation. For them, what they want needs to be done. No matter what my situation is or what kind of mental disturbance and torture I go through. They simply take things for granted.

I'm nowadays sick of these people. How long can I be a fool who keeps on bearing extreme disturbance of those people and the advantage that they take over me. Sometimes (in fact most of the times) the only way to let my frustration out is through blogs. I'm still weak. I'm not able to get the courage to tell them directly on their face as, "what you are doing is completely unacceptable..!!"

I don't know how long this is going to continue. Probably when I'm going to repel, its going to be a blast. I'm trying to be calm and patient as much as possible but few people are testing my patience to its extreme limit. I'm unable to accept the fact that they are making use of me just because I'm unable to reject their unfair requests outright.

These days have taught me so much. But how long I'm going to keep on learning without taking action based on what I have learnt. I'm still good may be because I still don't want to tell something on their face and hurt them. But that doesn't mean that I will continue to be so.

Avatar.. nice movie!!

I was little excited about watching the movie Avatar in 3D though my inner mind was concerned about how expensive the day is going to be.. I read the reviews and comments about the movie before going. Everywhere it was said to be outstanding. That tripled my curiosity to watch that movie in 3D.

I got up late and still felt bit of sleepiness in my eyes. May be because I was watching movies through out the earlier night till 3am. We had to explore the roads of Bangalore since we didn't know the exact route to the theater. I felt if we had followed route suggested by Google maps, we could have went easily but it was good to explore the roads.. We took few turns of our own and somehow we reached the theater. It was fun..

And finally in the theater.. watching the movie.. Avatar.. in 3D.. My mind was filled with the thoughts of how costly the ticket was.. And the movie started.. Man!! mind blowing.. I was amazed.. what an imagination.. creativity.. visual effects.. awesome movie.. I felt that it was worth watching in 3D.. It just takes you to a completely different world.. and makes you to feel that you are in that world.. If you get chance (I suggest that you try to get that chance), watch the movie in 3D.. My mind is still filled with the movie scenes..

The day was good :)

And the days are moving..

The days are dry.. A bit of sleepy mood is still there. I think the present chill climate is one of the reasons [ may be a lame reason :D ]. These days are often filled with friends visits. I didn't get much time to think about myself. Always I have been in gatherings these days.

I'm looking forward for some privacy and time for myself.. May be because I have been pretty much used to be alone.. My mind demands to be alone sometimes.. To spend some quality time with myself. To do something that I want to do. Not to have any diversions. Not to be disturbed by other's thoughts and actions. To get lost in my own world and thoughts.

Those are about my inside world. On the outer side, my friend has booked Avatar 3D show tomorrow. I wasn't much interested to go though I wanted to watch the movie. May be because I have lots of works to complete. The main reason is I don't want to spend huge money in movies. But when he asked me, it was kind of tempting.. One of the reasons could be it is 3D. "It is okay to have some entertainment..", I thought. So I said 'yes'. This might be the last movie, a probable last movie, that I might be watching in multiplex. Lets see.

And the inside world again.. Lots of random thoughts are going in my mind. Mind is always racing with lots of 'how do i do..', 'how do i do's.. Nowadays I'm getting too much frustrated for lots of things. I think I have to do something for it. One side of my mind says not to waste any time, but the other side of my mind still in the edge of laziness.

Lets see how things are going to be. Finally I'm getting some time for myself. The house is empty. But my mind is not, which is a good thing :)

Lets play the game.. :)

The new year has started.. I was in vacation mood till yesterday and today somehow got back to my normal mood of work-life balance. I have to over-stretch somehow to complete the work that I was supposed to have completed for the last few days. These days are filled with lots of energy.. But no actions :D Somehow the days are passing just like that.. 'I don't want it to go like this. I have to do something.. Something useful.. Something that I can be proud of..' My mind is filled with these thoughts only..

People are asking me about my new year resolutions. I kind of don't believe to wait for new year beginning to take any new resolutions. May be it is for those who have starting trouble. For those who want some reason for a change. I believe in taking any resolutions or bringing any change or improvement "within" as and when you feel like doing. You don't have to wait for some day to bring a change within you for your own betterment.

It is better to live everyday with the conscious thought of 'what I have done today..', 'how could I have done it in a better way..', 'how can I make my day more useful for me and for others..' etc. Introspecting yourself every now and then is good. If you want to become a better person, to live a better life, to be the best among the rest, then you better introspect yourself often. Keep improving yourself.

More importantly, find out what you are best at.. And make use of it. There is no point in keep on improving without identifying what you are best at. Then you can be a jack of all trades but you wouldn't be knowing what you are master at.

Thats all my new year blabbering. Now I will let you play your game in your own style :) Play safe, play wise, play nice.. At the same time, don't miss the fun :) That is very important :)

Wishing you happiness :-)

WISHING

YOU

A

HAPPY

NEW

YEAR

Lets accept that whatever happened in the past is for good. Lets step into the new year hoping that whatever is going to happen will be good.. As always, the ball is in our court.. Come!! Lets see what life has to offer these new days..

..With Love

Paul

Surrounded happiness..

Confirmation of the train tickets, arrival of my friends, eagerly waiting family, doubled excitements and happiness :) :) All the signs are showing that the vacation is going to be nice and happy.. what else you want for a happy vacation.. I'm happy that the year is completing in a nice way..

On top of all these things, yesterday my friend surprised me with a gift.. A gift from my wishlists :-) Looks like Santa thought about me on this Christmas.. Happiness and excitements got tripled.. :) :) :)

Sometimes I do feel over excited.. Looks like this is one of those times.. I don't feel like working.. If I rule the whole world, I will order, "Set the clock to 6pm.. NOW..!!" :)

This year has become one of the unforgettable years for many reasons.. Both on the happier and sad sides..

Will write a lot after coming back from vacation.. Happy holidays to you all.. Enjoy the chilled weather, the lovely mists, the joy of the holidays, the moments of togetherness, the surrounded happiness.. 

Wishing you a merry Christmas..

Cheers!!

Waiting for vacation..

Eagerly looking for the holidays.. Moments like this always keeps me on my toes and makes me feel like 'why the clock is ticking so slowly'.. All of a sudden I feel like 'oh my God!! a second is such a big time..' :-)

It has been almost 2 months since I visited my mom and sisters.. I'm excited that I can spend quality time with my family and friends after a long time. All my friends would be coming to Trichy, so the excitation is more this time. The train ticket is not yet got confirmed. Still in waiting list. But I'm hoping that it would get confirmed. I'm not feeling like working today or tomorrow though my official vacation starts only by 24th [ Ok.. Ok.. I can hear your voices saying 'as though you work on other days'.. Sometimes you shouldn't be talking loud guys.. My manager might hear :D ]

Still 30 hours more to go.. I want the count down to go fast but it is taking its own time :-(

Hope you all are having good time during this holiday season.. Happy holidays.. Enjoy your time with your loved ones, family and friends.. Cheers!!

Journey..

The days are moving along with tension. Sometimes (in fact, most of the times) the thoughts, assumptions and dreams don't match the realities. Though they appear to be reasonable and had logical proof points to make you feel as 'yes, your thinking is right..', the reality sometimes is completely different and will make you feel like 'you are completely wrong'..

Sometimes the reality becomes hard to accept. The realities make people to suffer. They make people to hate living. They make people to feel disappointed, sad and completely lost. I sometimes feel like 'I don't want realistic world.. let my dreams and thoughts become my own world..'! But that is never possible. It is a kiddish fairy tale wish.

One thing I learnt in my life is, though the realities are hard to accept, all it needs is little more time to make yourself getting used to what you are into. Lots of people don't realize it. They just get scared in the middle. When you are passing through the tunnel to reach the other side, you might have to travel in the dark. But that never means that your whole life will be dark. It never means that you wont see light any more. All it means that, 'just be patient.. travel through the dark.. but when you reach the other side, it will be bright, sunny and warm.. be little patient!!'

After a long time..

It has been a long time since I posted anything in this blog.. I'm nowadays more active on my Tamil blog, but that doesn't mean that I am not going to continue this blog.. It is just that I'm either not finding time to write here or not having some quality content to write [ but that shouldn't be a reason.. because if I look around, there are lots of things happening; so if I say that there is nothing to write, then it would mean that I have closed my eyes and living in my own world.. ] or both..

Wondering why this post is? It is just to resume my activities on this blog.. Both my personal and professional life have been very busy these days. Personal life is facing lots of ups and downs like the sea waves. However the journey has been quite OK.. Nothing to complaint..

As always, lots of things are making me wonder why this is happening.. why in my life.. why did I allow it etc.. But the other side of the mind keeps telling me that these are important in life to keep it interesting.. to make it lively.. There is no point in living a life as a kind of pre-planned tour. Yes, planning is important but at the same time the journey wouldn't be interesting and fun filled unless otherwise it has some last minute hurry, unexpected happenings, little tension, sweet surprises etc.. That tells my mind to be prepared for anything and enjoy everything. I'm internally preparing myself to face any kind of reality; but at the same time, taking effort to execute my own plans to make the life as the way I want it to be as much as possible.

So it has been quite a month.. Lots of learnings.. Lots of realizations.. Falling down.. Getting up.. Few wakeup calls.. Some mistakes.. Few corrections.. And the journey continues..

New Orkut - Its just cool..

You can read the post here...

Becoming judgmental..

Few days back, I was attending a training. Though I already know the concepts and other details of what they are going to teach, the situation forced me to attend again irrespective of me not having any interest. I was in the training room only for the attendance purpose.

Soon after the training has started, I started realizing that the trainer is not well versed in that training program. I was able to identify whenever he was making wrong points since I already have the knowledge on the subject being discussed there. When I started feeling that the trainer was fundamentally going in the wrong direction sometimes, I started raising my opinions through questions, so that not to touch his ego but at the same time I wanted the trainer to realize that the points he was trying to make is something that is unnecessary or irrelevant. The only reason why I wanted to correct him was that I didn't want those people, who are attending the training for the first time, to get trained with wrong points.

A little later, I realized that I became so judgmental that I wasn't able to focus my mind further on the training, perhaps because of the impression that the trainer has made so far. My sense of consciousness made me to start correcting whenever he tells something wrong. But soon I realized that it started bringing some annoyance in the room. Perhaps the people in the room might have wanted to move further with the training instead of me correcting the trainer most of the time.

I felt that 'may be I should calm down and let the training continue' since I have already made my points and shouldn't be hanging on it that can stop the training from moving on further. I, then, realized that its good to bring up the points what we feel is correct, but at the same time we should let things to go on since people, who are listening, have their own sense to decide what is right and what is wrong.

Though I wasn't able to concentrate much on the training, I kept quiet and let the training to continue. I felt that may be I shouldn't have attended the training and was little angry on those who made it mandatory and forced me to attend.

If you are wondering, 'what does this all mean', the answer is 'nothing'.. :-) I'm just telling what has happened. Perhaps the lesson would be not to try correcting someone too much. It is good to let them know what they might probably be doing wrong, but it is up to the person to change or correct him/herself. If I write anything further, it would mean that I'm trying to make my points stronger through this post :D so let me stop here :-)

Moments of surprises..

Last week when I went to Trichy, my native, it was just two days after my birthday. I didn't celebrate my birthday with my family since I was in Bangalore at that time. When I went there, my mom and sisters wanted to give me a surprise. So they had invited few of my close friends to our home to celebrate my birthday. Though they tried to keep it a secret to surprise me, somehow I came to know about it. What they don't know is that I knew about it. My sisters had asked my friends to bring the Cake since that would be a surprise when they come home.

One of my sister's birthday was just a week back. We didn't celebrate her birthday either since not everyone of my family were available at Trichy during her birthday. So I wanted to give them a surprise while they are excited thinking that they are going to give me a surprise. So I called my friends and asked them to buy another cake having birthday wishes for my sister on it..

The time arrived and my family members were excited to see surprising happiness in my face while I was getting ready to see double excitement in my sister's face because of the surprise that I'm going to give her.

My friends came.. My sisters said to me, "we are celebrating your birthday, so only they have come.. and here is the cake".. There was no another cake that my friends have brought. I guessed something. My sister, whose birthday was just a week back, opened the cake and an immediate surprising smile and happiness started spreading in her face.. and she said aloud with surprise.. "hey.. my name is also there in the cake".. My mom and other sisters were smiling at each other..

I told her with a smile, "well.. we are celebrating your birthday too".. You can see how happy she is in the picture at the time of cutting the cake.. When you give surprise to someone who is thinking of giving you surprise, you can see that the excitement gets doubled :) and I saw that in my sister's face that day..

Moments of happiness :)

Yet another birthday, * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * :)

My special thanks to Asha, Bala, Srimathi, Lawrence, Cyril, Kavi, Dom, Dolphin, Maha, Jaibal, Princy, Anna Sebastian and Anni, Simi and his wife Sharmila and Deepthimai for remembering my birthday and wishing me happiness.. That is very nice of you..

As usual, my mom, sisters and brother-in-law never forgets my birthday and wish me all the very best for my life.. I'm very glad to have such a lovely family who loves me more than the words can describe.. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Sometimes back, one of my friend asked me why I'm not disclosing my birthday in any of my social networking sites.. I smiled and said him that I'm interested in quality wishes rather than quantity :) Those whoever wishes me remembers my birthday by themselves instead of my notifications making them remember my birthday.. :) That way, I always feel that there are few people who still think about me and remember to wish me on my birthday..

Though the day has just been like any other day, the thoughtfulness of you all to remember my birthday and wishing me happiness made me to be even more happier today (the 5th November).. As I always say, you have become one of the reasons for my smile today :) Thank you all once again..

PS: Thanks to Preethi, Jayaram, Praba and Sangeetha for wishing me just a day after :) Though you missed the right moment by a day, your thoughtfulness made me happy :)

PPS: Special thanks to Arun, Prabhu, Jai and Baskar for coming home to celebrate my birthday.. Very nice of you :)

Long time since..

It has been a long time since I blogged.. One or the other things always keeping me busy. When nothing is keeping me busy, laziness occupies my mind. Have been thinking of getting rid off this laziness but my efforts doesn't lost for more than a week..

Now I have decided that I would start taking efforts on some of my hobbies I'm passionate about. Photography.. Cooking.. Writing.. Reading.. [ all non-technical stuffs ].. And yes, I did go out to shoot something in my camera.. The photo that you see here is something that I took a week back. I'm happy about the way the picture has come. Visit my Flickr account if you are interested to see few more pictures, which I took recently. It is just a start though.. More to come :)

(Re)search within..

Everyone wants to reach some heights [ I'm not talking about vertical height :-) ] in their life.. But not everyone understands or realizes what they are best at.

While some people over-look on their skills and/or ability on something that they are not even good at, there are people who underestimates their real skills and abilities on which they are potentially good at which can take them to the life's greatest heights.Everyone has talents in something.

Identifying the skill in which you are really good at, which can change your life and can make you to get the world's attention.. It is that ability that can bring you whatever you are looking for in your life.. name.. fame.. money.. and what not..!

Lots of people surprise me by saying that they are good for nothing. Come on, gimme a break.. Why are you closing your eyes and saying that it is dark [ If it is a dark night, don't worry, the Sun will raise again in few hours ;-) ]... Open your eyes, there are lots of opportunities in front of you. You are good at what you are destined for. Do a little (re)search within yourself and start rocking the world..

What are you waiting for? THIS is the time!!

It depends on your inner mind..

Sometimes even though you try hard to forget some memories or thoughts, you just cannot. The reason is not because it is very difficult to forget. It is simply because your inner mind don't want to forget them even though you deliberately try hard.. It is just that some corner of your heart still wants and cherishes those memories and thoughts.. Bottom of the heart still feels good about those memories.. Because those memories are something that made you to feel how heaven would be..

Your inner mind don't want to lose those memories.. It still wants to look for even tiny possibilities to retain those relationships that are reason for those sweet memories.. The bottom of your heart still hopes that some magic will happen and everything will be back to its good old cherishable state.. It keeps on praying God for that magic to happen as soon as possible..

Because certain relationships are too expensive to lose.. Those relationships are something that you always wanted in your life.. You NEVER want to lose the person whom you have dreamed as your world.. because it will take life time to find such person again..

My heart is waiting for that magic to happen.. Will God make it happen? Fingers crossed..

It's different..

Sometime back I was out with my friend for lunch.. We ordered different food based on our taste.. While having the lunch, we both were tasting some sample of each other's food. He asked me, 'how is it..?', I said, 'ya. its good'.. In fact, it was really good and I liked the taste of the food that he ordered.

'So how is mine?', I asked him back. He thought for a second and replied with a smile, 'it is different'.. Though his reply directly meant that he didn't like that taste very much, his statements of "it is different" caught my attention. Most of the times, when someone asks me how something is, I have always had the habit of telling, 'yeah, its good..' (if I like it) or 'I personally didn't feel that it was good' (if I don't like it).. I mostly be careful and avoid the usage of the word 'bad' and I add the words 'I personally' to be more polite in my responses so that the other person wont feel bad about my response. I felt that his response was one of the best ways to express your opinion though you dont personally like something.

'Taste' or 'Like' etc never has defined dictionary meaning. It always carry customized meaning based on individual. Everyone is different. Each individual likes different things. Their taste vary. When that is the fact, how can someone ever say 'it isn't good or it is bad'.. Though I agree with the fact that, if someone says 'it isn't good' that directly means that it is their personal opinion. However thinking in the lines of 'it is different' brings more comfortability amoung people. It conveys the meaning in a better way that 'my taste is different' and yet you respect the other persons likes and tastes..

Isn't this lesson great.. I thought so and thats why this post :-)

Pain killers..

When you go through tough times in your life, you really need someone who can ease your pain by hearing your problems, giving shoulder to cry and more importantly cheering you up.. You need people who can be pain killers for your tough time.. Medicines cannot ease those pains because the wounds causing the problem is not something that science can capture.. It's emotional feeling that gets hurt.. The heart's painful noises are never heard by anyone else except the person who is facing the pain..

Friends are the best pain killers for your tough time.. Though they cannot solve your problem, they can atleast give you a hug that can console you.. They are the ones who tell you "hey there is another door opened.. lets go that way.." when you are staring at the closed door and feeling so down, blinking your eyes thinking 'what am I going to do now'.. They can cheer you up.. They can make you stand.. They can help you to refill your energy.. They can show 'thumps up' and tell you 'go on.. i'm backing you..'!!

It isn't that easy to get friends who help you emotionally during your tough time.. I'm glad that I'm blessed with such few friends.. When I'm feeling like i'm going through hell, I'm seeing a rope falling down from the sky holded by my friends and hearing their loud voice telling me 'come on.. hold it.. quick.. let us pull you up..'

God is great :-)

Life lessons..

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