Thursday, August 30, 2007

That last little push...

Most of the times, most of the people hesitate to say what/how they feel about something... When some discussion is going on in a group or in a meeting, they afraid to express their views/suggestions…

The bottom line of that fear/hesitation would be the thinking of "what if whatever I say is wrong... what if they feel bad about my views/suggestions/ideas etc..." This is what mostly makes them not to talk... Sometimes they struggle a lot to overcome this hesitation/fear but the words won't come out of their lips... they get into tensed state, and their inner mind would start shivering and most of the times they wont give "that last little push" to say what they feel... Are you one such kind? Then go on reading, may be you may find something useful to you in this post...


Most of the times, you can see that, sooner or later someone would be telling exactly what you thought in your mind which you hesitated/feared to say and their view/suggestion/opinion (in fact, they are your views) is being absolutely accepted and they get appreciated for that... Have you ever experienced that? How many times have you experienced that? Once? Twice?? Thrice??? Does it keep happening to you? Have you ever tried to analyze the situation and find out what exactly you are missing which stops you from speaking in the group or in the meetings?


If you think and analyze more deeply about why you are not expressing your points while the other person is able to express exactly what you hesitated to express, you can realize that,


* You hesitate to talk, because you think that 'what if it is wrong...?' But the other person thinks that 'what if it is right...?'

* You afraid to say your views/suggestions, because you think that 'they may not consider my views/ideas/suggestions...' But the other person thinks that 'they may consider my views/ideas/suggestions...'

* You fear to open up your mouth, because you think that 'what if they feel bad about whatever I say...?' But the other person thinks that 'what if they feel good about whatever I say...?'


Are you able to realize the difference between your thoughts which make you not to talk and the other person's thoughts which make them talking in the group/meeting...? Whenever there is a double mind of "what if", they give importance to the positive side of it, while you give importance to the negative side of it.

Whenever you think, "what if I am wrong?", "what if they feel bad?", "what if they ignore me?" etc, always remember that "what if" is not definite, i.e., it is like "may be"... it is never 100%... whenever you think like that, it means that you are not sure that they will think you are wrong, or, you are not sure that they will feel bad about it... etc... It is just that you think that they MAY FEEL bad/wrong about you... When you have double mind, always give credit to the positive side of it... when you think that "you may be wrong?", remember that "you may also be right..." When you think that "they may feel bad about you..", remember that "they may also feel good about you..." So always give importance to the positive side of your hesitations...


Even then, if you struggle to overcome your hesitation and find difficulty to give that last little push to bring the words out of your lips, let me ask you some questions,

* Won't you talk if you are in a situation that you will become the star of this world if you talk?

* Won't you talk if you are in a situation that you will get noticed by someone you love if you talk?

* Won't you talk if you are in a situation that someone is having a gun on your back and will kill you if you are not talking?

* Won't you talk if you are in a situation that someone is having a gun on your loved ones and will kill him/her if you are not talking?


Won't you talk in those kinds of situation??? Definitely you will talk... So you will talk when it comes to the matter of survival... isn't it? You talk if you are in a situation to survive... Then, think each of your minutes as "moments of survival"... Think that you are not going to survive if you are not talking... then it will give you enormous energy for your last push to overcome your hesitation and to talk...


So what are you waiting for? Don't hesitate to give that last little push... It is never too late to take any effort especially when it comes to the matter of making yourself better and better...


Cheers...