Monday, June 29, 2009

Some scene that bothered me...

Yesterday I was travelling in a train from Trichy to Bangalore. It was nearing midnight. My train stopped near a level crossing for a while. I glanced outside the window. The plants were dancing slowly in the gloomy night. I looked through the window on the other side. There was another train standing on the next parallel railway track. A little more than middle aged lady sitting near the toilet doors of a compartment in the other train got my attention. Her face was filled with sorrow and sadness.

Her hair was not combed properly.. Her face had lost the happiness.. Her dress was little dirty. Her appearance itself said that she was into deep sorrow and having an aimless journey.. Her eyes expressed lots of unspoken sadness. I dont know why, but I felt pity for her. I wished I could go, sit near her and ask, 'Why so sad?? You can share your sorrow with me if you think that it can make you feel light hearted!!'

In a short while, the train started moving.. So am I with a little heavy heart!!

Monday, June 22, 2009

Feeling restless...

I dont know.. but I have been feeling restless since yesterday!! Not able to say 'why'.. but it is just that some thoughts in the center of head is bothering me!! Blood is facing a little high pressure..

Feeling a kind of emptiness even though I have been talking to lots of friends.. A little tensed.. Not feeling hungry.. A slight headache now and then.. Seems that I'm really stressed a lot these days!! Somehow feeling that I'm wasting my times which I could otherwise spend on some technical preparations. Mixed thoughts about career and personal are flashing over and over again in my mind. It looks like I really need a break. May be in the form of making myself completely concentrating on something else.

Desparately waiting for this weekend. May be I can have some nice time with my mom and sisters!!

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Letter to one of my nice friends..

Dear ******,

Well.. I dont know how to start but.. I just wanted to let you know that you have been a nice friend to me these days. I know that we might not be in touch as frequently as we were sometimes back.. My inner sense somehow says that we might not even get a chance to talk in future.. I dont know whether that is because of the situations that you are in or because of some intentions that you are upto or both. Because you have been showing some behavioral changes these days. The charming that you showed towards our friendship sometimes back is missing now a days.

I say this because somehow I started feeling that you were not like before, especially after our long conversation the other night. My senses somehow says that a gap started there and now it had gone to a greater extend, which makes me feel that it can never be bridged :-) It is not the ego that is stopping me from trying to resume the same level of friendship, it is just that I want to respect the decisions that you are taking. If I don't support what you are upto, then what is the point in being a friend. You are like a butterfly whose presense can make people smile and happy. I cannot be selfish to think just about my happiness and try to hold you back. So whatever the decisions that you are taking, I'm fine with that.

In whatever the case, I just wanted to let you know that I was very happy to be your friend even though it was a short period of time. I don't know whether someone ever told you how nice you are who can keep people around happy. Thanks for being so nice to me. I cherished your friendship. I felt happy whenever I was talking to you.

Not everyone becomes a reason for someone's smile. Only very few people makes others smile and happy. You are one such person. You had been a reason for my smile on few of these days. I am glad that I am given a chance in life to talk to one such person. Your nice and charming character has always made me happy. Good things about a person has to be told especially when they are there, not when they are gone. That is the reason why I am writing this.

I wish you all the best for everything. Have a nice and happy life.. Cheers :-)

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Some diversions...

Nowadays I'm into some sort of diversion.. Not able to concentrate properly on anything.. Well, that doesn't mean that I'm in love :-) So don't starts thinking in that line. Something is keeping my mind busy.. bothering me a lot. I cannot really say what exactly is bothering me (my inner sense tells me 'dont say lie..' while typing this statement [grin]) .. But I'm worried about something that is constantly spinning in the back of my mind.

I know that i'm simply passing my times so often without doing anything useful. I'm finding very difficult to bring back my concentration. Might be, writing this post could become 'the break' i'm wanting to bring me back to normal :-) That is one of the reason why I'm writing this :-)

Whenever something is bothering you, you say it aloud. Share it with someone. Discuss about it with a nice friend. Tell it to the nature. Just express it by any means. You will start feeling light hearted. You can see that you are slowly coming out of that stress that have been bothering you. You can feel that you are no longer into that emotional battle. You can see that your mind gets cleared with fresh thoughts. You might even start thinking that whatever was bothering you is silly.. You might even laugh at yourself that 'I just cannot believe that such a silly thing was bothering me'..

Whenever something is bothering, expressing it explicitly can really help to get over it. Instead of keeping it inside your mind and constantly worrying about it, just share it with someone or express it by some means. You can see that you are out of it. You are back to normal :-) Am I??? Well, I have to wait and see ;-)

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Emotionally upset..

Though I try to be a practical person most of the times, certain situations really makes me emotionally upset. Especially those situations that puts my loved ones in pain. When my dear ones suffer, it makes me feel emotionally upset even though I still take practical decisions to handle the situation.

More than the problems, what worries me a lot is the emotional sufferings that my dear ones go through. The stress that I undergo because of such situation is terrible.. It is always easy to deal with any situation if that just involves you. Especially when you are matured enough to take things easily. But if the same happens to your dear ones, God!! its terrible. Because you are always ready to take the pain, but when you see your loved ones suffer, you just cannot take it. Especially when they are not matured enough to take things easily. It just puts you under lots of pressure and stress to ease the pain. But when the problem is not under your control, what else can you do other than hoping for something good to happen. All you can pray to God is to give them the strength to handle the pain..

And, that is the kind of situation I'm in now. Today I'm emotionally very upset.. :-(