Thursday, June 07, 2007

Sometimes...

It had been long time since I updated my Blog... Things are going pretty busy... Lot of times I have thought about writing some posts in my blog... in fact, I have also started quite a few but didn’t get time to complete them.

Sometimes I think a lot why I am into this profession, which keeps me very busy most of my time, which isolates me from what is happening around me in the society, which always interrupts my personal times not to spend freely, which keeps my mind think always about projects, issues, meetings, etc and not about my friends and family, which hardly gives me chance to think about calling my friends and spending my times with them... Sometimes I hate this job though it is (or may be 'was') my dream...


I used to think a lot during my school days 'won't it be so great to be a software engineer... creating new software’s, technologies used by lot of people... living a hi-fi life... etc'... But later during these days, when I call my family and hear my mother and sisters' voice over phone saying, "it has been so long since we saw you... we have been expecting eagerly to see you... can you come over this week???"... Whenever I hear those words, I immediately plan to go to my native, but immediately I will hear my boss's voice saying, "Paul... can those defects be fixed within this weekend since we have a release next week..." or something like "we have a very high priority issue coming up on our way so we may have to work hard this weekend to fix that...", which will spoil all my plans and I may have to stay back to fix those problems by that week... Whenever my boss says like that, i will look at him with a slight smile, and then he will immediately say, "only this weekend"... When he says that, i will laugh, then he will smile and will correct his statement, "yeah... this weekend too..." He knows that "only" this weekend is a big comedy...


Whenever I feel that my family would be disappointed for not seeing me this week too, I hate this job... but on the other hand, this job gives me lot of money and facility which helps me to keep my family in a comfortable position and to satisfy all their needs... to help someone in needs... get whatever my loved ones want... Whenever I fulfill the dreams and desires of my loved ones, or buy something they love the most, I can see a fulfilled smile and happiness on their face... At those moments, I love this job...


This profession is all about losing something to gain something else... But yet sometimes things we lose are invaluable than something that we gain... This life is all about balancing and i am trying to deal it in the best way i can but yet sometimes... [ smiles ]


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